Just get started. A daunting proposition, isn’t it? Finally, after all this time, just go ahead and publish that piece you have been working on. It sounds so simple, so banal. And yet, it makes my stomach turn.
The problem stems from the deeply held belief that perfection is attainable. We believe that if we follow all instructions, if we work hard enough, if we just keep at it, it will turn out just the way we imagined. Isn’t that how this works?
Perfection is an illusion. It leads us to pursue an impossibility, leaving us forever disappointed by the results. Perfection blinds us to what we have actually created. This beautifully flawed piece of writing, those frosted cupcakes, these brushstrokes that tell tales of your insecurity, of your struggle. These things exist. They are this way because we made them so. At best, the illusion of perfection can serve as a feverish motivational vision, enabling us to chase a dream. At worst however, perfection is perceived as that goalpost for our projects we can never quite reach, leaving us in shambles every time we run out of breath.
Let’s try this again
Postdrafts is my story. It is an attempt at structuring and calming my chattering mind. I want to make its content accessible not only to myself, but to others who might benefit from my thinking. In a war against this false ideal of perfection, the notes you will find in my Digital Garden are never finished, they are imperfect by nature, freed from imagined expectation, they are forever post draft, to be revised, edited and made better. My Logbook contains more traditional blog posts like this one, meant to give context to the atomized notes in the Digital Garden.
Perfection, but why?
Our obsession with perfection is upheld by a common capitalistic understanding: we are seekers, looking for things that make us whole, external stimuli that make us feel complete. We want to feel perfect. I find that capitalism is something quite difficult to capture. It has bestowed us a level of material wealth that is unprecedented in the history of our world. But it has also changed. As the years go by, capitalism slowly ages and settles into a mode of operation that brings forth an array of problems, turning against those it was meant to serve.
At face value, this is just another human perspective on some of the things that have moved me. Capitalism and its evolution into what is today referred to as late-stage capitalism or hypercapitalism, is a core theme that will continuously play a role in these notes, so it felt right to start off with setting this foundation.
Okay, but where do I look?
These notes do not always attempt to offer a solution. I believe that to live a worthwhile existence within our systems is a matter of perspective, of maintaining and nurturing a frame of mind that can connect to our world without sacrificing its integrity in the process. Solutions are often personal, and all I can do is point to the things that have worked for me.
The most important note in this week’s collection, as simple as it may appear, is Deep Trust. The attempt to describe this notion is the culmination of many years, not of work, but simply of being alive. I can’t take credit for this discovery, it is nothing I did, or create, but rather something that was always there. I simply hadn’t noticed.
Trust yourself. That’s about as mundane as self-help advice can go. But Deep Trust refers not to the trust itself, but to its ever present nature, to its undeniable origin. What makes this discovery so significant is realizing that the source of that trust is not bound to anything you can ever change, that it is deeply entwined with what you are as a human being. It relieves us of any pressure to be anything other than what we already are. This idea forms the foundation of how we can live fulfilling lives, even amidst less than ideal circumstances. We already have all the things we need.